Can't Help Falling In Love
by I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me
Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: Aye o! You lovely readers! I have found a new inspiration for a story. After reading "How to love" by Katie Cotugno, I thought I'd write a fanfiction based off of it. It's also probably going to be a whole lot AU. I suggest reading it and reading my fanfiction… and maybe reviewing if you'd like me to continue.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, it wouldn't have taken half of season 13 to get good a good plot.

Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.

Can't Help Falling in Love

Before

I tapped my fingers on the counter, hearing my long nails hit it one after the other. I watched the clock for a while, but then looked away. Mom is always saying a watched clock never moves and right now I believe that saying to be very true. The time seemed to be moving slower every second. The store was mostly empty at this time of night, not many people shopped for books at quarter to nine, but I still couldn't leave. I had another hour and fifteen minutes before I could leave, go home to sleep and let Jake do the closing shift

Jake is my stepbrother about six-foot, blonde and stupid most of the time, but somehow he still managed to graduate high school. He probably paid the gifted kids- like myself to do his homework and projects. I've known Jake since we were children. I was six, he was eight, and we went to the same church group even though he was nearly three years older than I was. That's how my mother and his father met and became friends. Then after my mother divorced my father last year she married Glen after a month of dating. I rolled my eyes just thinking about it.

It still amazes me just how quickly she had gotten over my father since I myself am still not over it, and it was a year ago and some since it happened. It made me wonder what the real cause of the divorce was. Everything changed so quickly after their divorce. All of a sudden there was a new house, new neighborhood, and a new bookstore that I get forced to work at most days after school.

I sigh looking at the clock again. The light hum of today's top forty played throughout the store. That possibly being the only thing keeping me awake right now. That and that I'm standing and I wish only for a chair to get myself off of my feet that happened to be killing me.

I could complain about this job, but there really isn't much to complain about. Unless I've got a late shift to deal with and a pile of homework to do before I could actually shut my eyes tonight.

I thought of sitting on the floor behind the counter, resting my eyes, or reading the book I now have placed on the counter beside me. I thought of flipping the sign that flashed 'open' in bright blue and orange off just so I wouldn't have to worry about people walking in, but I couldn't and I knew it.

I lied my head on the counter and rested it on my arms so my face wasn't pressed against the dirty counter. I let a loud tired sigh fall from my lips before hearing the ringing the door would make after a person would walk in. I whipped my head up quick hoping to see it was Jake, but it wasn't Jake and he wasn't coming early to his shift.

It was a shorter boy, maybe six inches taller than I was. He looked to be no older than Jake. He had shaggy black hair, but I couldn't see his face. The boy didn't look over at me while I couldn't help staring at him. I felt weird doing so, only because I knew I could be caught at any time. He kicked his black shoes against the black rug in front of the door to get the snow off of them.

He took his hands out of his pockets of his dark skinny jeans and brought them to his mouth to warm them up. I remembered just then how cold it would be outside, and the weatherman only said it was supposed to get colder. I hated the winter, the snow, and the cold. The long months of having to wear pants because it was too cold for my normal dresses. I groaned internally. I have to walk home in that tonight.

I finally look away from the boy. I picked up my book to make it look like I wasn't just staring at his backside as he stood near the door to warm up from the cold. I have _Twilight_ in my hands, an old worn out copy that I must have read a million and three times by now. Bella was just finding out what Edwards is at the part I'm reading. The lion fell in love with the lamb, it is weird but still so beautiful.

Someone clearing their throat in front of me scared me just slightly. I had forgotten there was another person in the store along with me. I looked up at his face and noticed then the person was very handsome and I set my book aside.

"Sorry…" I mumbled.

He smirked and I just about died. "It's fine." He says. He has breathtaking green eyes, bow-shaped lips and a chiseled jaw line. I noticed what were probably birthmarks on his neck that could be mistaken as bites from a vampire. That or maybe I've read too much vampire fiction and it's starting to get to my head. I almost went weak in the knees. "A person gets lost in a book, I get it." He shrugs.

"Yeah." I say as he sets a book down on the counter. "Is that all?" I ask politely, picking up the book.

"Mmm…" He looks beside him and quickly grabs a gum pack out of one of the small containers, in the shelves beside the counter. "That's all." He nods and hands me the small packet of 12 pieces of _Dentyne ice_ gum.

I suck on my bottom lip out of habit as I scan the two items. I often did this when I'm nervous but now as I hit a few buttons on the till I couldn't find a reason for it. That's a lie, there is a very handsome boy standing in front of me and it is starting to make me dizzy.

"twenty two fifty.." I manage to choke out. "Please."

"So…Where's Jake." He asks pulling out his wallet from his back pocket of his jeans.

I scrunched my eyebrows together and looked at him curiously. Jake knew this guy? This guy knew Jake? "Jake?"

"Yeah, Jake. He usually is working now." He pulls out a twenty and put it on the counter. "The late shifts."

"He's got closing." I tell him quickly.

He nods. "Oh, well I've never seen you before." He hands me the rest of the money.

"That's because I usually work the weekends because no one else is willing to." I say. I don't know why I was telling this guy this, for all I know he could be a murderer.

"I see…"

I count the money - a twenty, a toonie, and two quarters - I press the button, put the money in and close it before asking. "Would you like a bag?"

He shook his head no, so I passed him his book and gum, ready to pick up my book again. "I'd like to know your name though."

My eyes flew back to his face and I smiled softly. "It's Clare."

He smirks in return. "I'll see you 'round, Clare." He says and nods once before walking out of the store.

Even though I barely even spoke to him and had only just met him, something made me want to know him, know more about him. I wanted nothing more than to be able to look into his green eyes as long as I wanted to without it being weird. I stared at the now closed door and bit my lip as I thought more about the dark-haired boy whose name I didn't even know. But I knew one thing… I'll have to get more weekday shifts.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: Well if you're back reading this chapter, I'm thinking you enjoyed the first one at least? Well… Either way, thank you stopping by and reading. Remember to review and enjoy this chapter of Can't Help Falling In Love.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, Grace would be my best friend.

Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.

Can't Help Falling In Love

After

I quickly run my hairbrush through my long messy hair. I grabbed a hair elastic and pulled my hair through it once or twice before it was tight against my head and I was sure it wouldn't fall out if the baby tugged on it. My face was still covered in the light make up I had worn the day before, since I had no time to take clean it off last night. I had to admit I've looked bad before, but today I looked completely horrible. I have bags under my tired eyes and one big red pimple in the crease where my nose connects to my cheek. I sigh and turn the tap on, letting the water turn from cold to hot.

I cupped my hands together under the running tap for a few seconds before I throw the water up at my face. For a second as I wash my face I forget the reason for my tiredness, but only for a second. I dry my face with a wash cloth, tapping it over and over again until my face is dry. I looked at myself in the mirror again I still look horrible. I don't know why I thought cleaning my face would change the way I look. If anything all I did was take the remains of the mascara off.

I press the button on my phone to check the time. It was six thirty. The baby would be up soon if he wasn't already up.

I decide against putting any make up on and quickly leave the bathroom. I cross the hall quietly past the nursery, Jake's room to my room. I pulled out a T-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans from my closet and change quickly. I yawn again as I grabbed my purse and hurried out of the room. People who didn't know he was teething would probably think he was sick, but he wasn't, it was just a tooth coming in and that's what kept me up most of the night. He always had a horrible time when it comes to gaining a new tooth. He would be up all night, there was constant crying, constant clinging to me, constant discomfort and pain, and he would get a fever too so that didn't help. My poor baby boy.

I heard my mom talking quietly on the phone downstairs. It was probably Glen she was talking to. I mean, it's not like she had many friends these days, and I can't help but feel like it's my entire fault. My mom is a very catholic woman, she goes to church every Sunday at the eleven o'clock mass. She volunteers whenever she can and sets up all these activities within the Church Community. She was very known and everyone enjoyed her company. But then my showing up to church every Sunday getting bigger and bigger with every passing week almost a year and a half ago caused a lot of people to stop talking to her.

I open the already slightly opened door to the nursery fully and walk in. I tip toe over to the rocking chair and put my purse on it, before going over to the crib.

He lies there already awake, just sucking his thumb. A habit I was trying to get him to break.

"Kayden, baby." I smile down at him. "Good morning." I cooed.

"Mama!" He happily squeaks out.

I take him out from his crib. "Let's get you changed, huh?"

I bring him to the change table to change him and dress him. He is still sucking on his thumb when I finish. I sit him up and hand him his 'Binky' as he says but it's really just a pacifier. He substituted his thumb for his Binky and that made me feel better.

"Are you hungry, little man?" I say picking him up off the table. I didn't expect him to answer me, which he didn't. Instead just rested his head on my shoulder when I walked out of his small room. I forgot the light so I had to stop and flick it off and shut the door behind me. When I left the room for the second time and last time I bumped into Jake. The sudden collusion startling Kayden, His head flew up and his Binky fell out of his mouth.

"Morning." Jake says and bends down and picks it up, wiping it on his shirt to clean it off and went to give it back to the baby, but I took it quickly. There was no way that was clean enough to put back in my babies' mouth. He probably hasn't washed that shirt in three weeks, and there's no way the floor was clean to begin with.

"Morning." I smile slightly.

"You got the eight till one today right?" He asks as I walk past him

"Yup."

"Do I need to watch him then?" He asks

"Uh…No, not today." I said adjusting Kayden on my hip. "I think I'm going to take him with me…. It's Sunday, barely anyone is going to come in today, you know that." I start down the stairs.

"Alright." He follows me down the stairs. Kayden lied his head against my shoulder again and I didn't want to let him go. I placed a kiss on the top of his head cover in dark hair.

Kayden looked everything like his father, everything but the eyes. They were blue, almost grey. He had dark curly hair, these small bow-shaped lips and the perfect little nose, and sometimes I swear he's got his fathers smirk. I slip him in his high chair and he immediately starts to whine, I sigh ready to hold him again.

"I got him." Mom says hanging up the phone.

I thank her and start getting his breakfast ready. I put some Cheerios into a bowl with some milk and grab a banana after Jake moves out of my way. I set the bowl down on the table part of his high chair and pull a chair in front of it.

Most mornings we shared a breakfast. Half of a banana for him, half for me. Half of a bowl of Cheerios for me, half for him. It took a lot less time to get our day started when we share the food, instead of having two different meals like it was before he could eat solid foods. I held the banana out to him and he took a bite of it happily. He didn't have many of his teeth yet, so it was difficult for him to get a good bite. Then I took a bite.

I watched Kayden walk around the store, following behind him to make sure he wouldn't get into everything. He was at the age where everything was fascinating and he had to touch and make a mess of everything. Sometimes it was annoying, but it was all a part of his learning. He is an intelligent little guy, He must have gotten the genius trait from not only me but his father.

Besides no one was in the store now, so if Kayden wanted to explore I wasn't going to stop him. I would be able to hear the door if someone were to walk in.

"Oh!" Kayden walked back over to me in an almost run and tugged on my pant leg and pointed with his tiny fingers before running over to whatever he wanted to show me.

He plopped himself down on the ground and butt scooted closer to the shelf. I giggle watching him try his hardest to yank a book out. The book though was too big for him, he was a year and nearly six months old, but he was tiny compared to others his age.

"Buddy, you're still on picture books." I laugh and scoop him up in my arms and attack his belly with kisses and tickles. His baby laugh loud throughout the empty store.

"Mama!" He's happily laughing.

Little moments like these are my favourite. I set him back down on his feet and take his hand in mine. I glance over at the clock and find it's almost one. I can get Kayden home soon and put him down for a nap. Maybe I'll take a nap too. We walk over back to the counter and behind it. I pick him up and sit him on the counter.

He tugs on my hair as I reach for his book I've been read in to him. He insists I only read that one book to him over and over. As I try to get Kayden to let go of my hair that was now out of its pony tail because he pulled it out, I hear the door ring and my head shot over to see who it was walking in the store. I swear my heart just stopped beating.

I hoped he wouldn't look over, I hope it was an entirely different person I was seeing, I hoped but none of it happened. He turned his head and stopped his walking movements. There he stood the father of my baby and the man who left me without saying a word nearly three years ago To say I was shocked right now would be an understatement.

He was taller, but nothing really changed, still the same person that I thought I knew so well back when I was sixteen. But turned out I was completely and entirely wrong about him.

"Eli?" I question even though I knew it was him.

His eyes flew back and forth between Kayden and I. There was nothing but what was probably a hundred questions and confusion written all over his face and in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Authors note: Firstly, I would just like to thank everyone that has reviewed. Each review means so, so, so much to me. Secondly, I just want to let everyone know the chapters go back and forth from before and after. Thirdly, If you'd like to know what Kayden looks like I have a link on my profile, so go check that out. And yeah… That's about it. So review if you'd like and enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, I don't even know anymore.

Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.

* * *

Can't Help Falling In Love

Before

"No."

"Please."

"Not a chance."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not giving up my weekend to work just because you want me to."

I sigh. "Come on, Jake!" I whine. "Please."

"Why? Why should I." He asks.

Then my face drops. There was no way I was going to tell him why. I didn't want him to know at all, I mean the boy knew Jake. Whether it was from him coming into the bookstore often or someplace else, I didn't want to risk it. I stop my puppy dog get what I want face.

"Never mind." I said shaking my head. I got up off the couch where he was sitting. He has duck dynasty on and I felt myself losing brain cells just from being in the same room as it was on in. I hated the show but he seemed to love it a lot. Jake grabbed my wrist before I could get too far away and pulled me back from leaving.

"I'll consider it… If you tell me why."

I moved out of his hold. I should have known he would pull something like that. Get my hopes up just for a few seconds and then tare them all down. I should have just talked to Glen or my mother. It's not like Jake was the one in charge of the time schedule. I should have known that Jake would want a reason why. I should have known so that way I'd be able to come up with some lame excuse why, but I didn't. I had nothing to tell him an even if I did make something up on the spot he would see right through me. I'm not good at lying.

I'm not good at lying, not even a little bit. Everyone around me seems to greatly skilled at it. My mother does it even though she claims it is a huge sin. Glen too, Jake and all my friends. I blame my father for the lack of being great at it. Last year when Jake had gotten caught with weed in his room, he lied so well about it he got away with it, I had called my mother stupid after not grounding him or something and I'm the one that got in trouble that day.

I look away from him and picked the hangnail I had. "It's nothing, I'll just talk to my mom." I head for the stairs after that. I know he had gotten up off the couch from the loud footsteps I hear behind me. He walked incredibly loud and it was annoying. He woke me up most mornings with his elephant feet. If Jake starred in a horror movie there would be no way he would survive, not with how loud he would be when he would be trying to be quiet. The killer would find him and cut him in half so quick it wouldn't be able to be called a movie.

"Don't talk to you mom, Clare." He says loudly from the bottom of the stairs. "She'll yell at me for hours."

"Then let me have a few of your weekend shifts." I say. I stop near the top of the stairway and turn to face him.

"Fine, what days?"

"Whatever day that guy comes into the store." I say before I realized what I said.

Jake raised his eyebrows. "I knew there was a reason."

I blushed and turned away from him and continued up the rest of the way to the second floor. I didn't hear his footsteps anymore so I started down the hallway to my room.

"His name is Eli by the way and he comes in whenever, usually late though." Jake said. His voice was loud though the quiet house.

I stopped in my tracks and said. "How do you know who I'm talking about?"

"He wouldn't shut up about you when we hung out last night"

* * *

To say I was distracted this morning would be an understatement. I kept running into people, walking into the wrong classrooms and it was beyond embarrassing. But I had my reasons. I learnt the guy I met two days ago had talked about me and I know his name… or at least his first name. All I've done is think about him, his handsome looks, the smirk, and the colour of his eyes. What he could have said about me. It was all so frustrating. I tried to get Jake to tell me more but he wouldn't, he said something about guy code. And I wanted to punch him in the throat.

I am glad to be at my locker. There is no one to run into standing still. I checked my make up and fluffed up my hair a bit. I liked makeup and having my hair done nice but I was no where near as obsessed as my best friend Alli. She had to have her hair did, nails did, make up perfect, and the right outfit on before leaving the house. She reads all those teenage magazines I can't stand and wore heels that I would fall in. But that was Alli and she was the smartest person I knew. Smarter than me even. She strives to find a cure to cancer after her mother dying of it.

I adjust my photo of my father, mother, sister and I. I smile softly to myself. It was a lot easier time back then, we were all happy and Darcy and I were still close then.

"Clare!" My locker slams shut.

"Ahh!" I scream loudly and hold my hand over my heart. My screaming caused everyone still in the halls to look over at me, and here I was thinking my embarrassment was over for today. I hear laughing and immediately know it was Alli.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Well maybe if you paid attention!" She put a hand on her hip. "I was calling your name from like the other end of the hallway."

"Sorry…" I say "I'm distracted."

She nods. "I can tell." She gives me a look, one that says we'll talk about why later, right now no. "Guess what?"

"I don't know." I shrug.

Alli lets out a snort "You're horrible at guessing." She flips her hair out of her shoulder. "I got something for us to do tonight." She smiles widely.

I open my locker once again and pull my lunch out. "And? That is?"

"A party!" She squeals.

"A party?" I repeat.

"Yes, A college party!"

I raise my eyebrows at her and don't bother asking how she managed to get invited to a college party. "But… a party? Really?"

She rolls her eyes at me now. "Yes, Clare, a party. You're distracted and deaf today."

* * *

I played with the buttons on the blouse. I hated it but Alli insisted I wear the see through pink blouse with buttons and only a black boob tube underneath. I didn't feel like I was even wearing a shirt and I was kinda cold in it too. The pants were all right, I didn't mind them but the five-inch pumps were not all right. She wouldn't let me change them and I've almost fallen over at least three times by now.

"Clare, will you stop playing with the buttons?" She says swatting my hands away from my buttons and I almost stomp my foot.

"Half of my cleavage is hanging out!"

"So? We're at a college party, we have to fit in. Maybe if you dressed like this more often you would have had your first kiss already."

My mouth opens to retort, but then I realized I had nothing to say. My hand flew to cover her mouth. I know what she's saying is true that I haven't had my first kiss but that is not something I want everyone knowing. The music was loud, so loud I don't think the party will last long before someone calls the police. It was only nine o'clock and there are drunk and drinking people everywhere. Everyone was either doing something stupid or basically having sex on the dance floor area of the living room if there wasn't a party going on. I didn't like high school parties and I don't like college party either.

I wish Alli wasn't good at getting her own way. Maybe then I wouldn't be here at this party feeling a headache forming. Maybe then her older brother Sav wouldn't have given her the invite to the party. We've been here ten minutes and I already want to leave. I'm worrying about my buttons and I'm surprised Alli hasn't left me yet.

"Clare… You need to relax…. Here…" She grabs my hand and pulls me with her, I follow her since I know absolutely no one at this party.

She leads me a different room until she stops in front of a bucket with bottles and cans in it. She digs into it dropping my hand and pulls out a glass bottle. Alli holds it out to me "What is this?"

"A wine cooler, drink it, it will help you relax."

I eye the bottle. "A wine cooler?"

"Yes, it tastes like fruit punch, you won't even taste the vodka."

I chew on the inside of my cheek and look from the bottle to her as some people push past us. "Would you like something else?"

"No.. No, I'm fine with that."

"Good." She says fast and pushes it into my chest and I hold it. "Come find me when... later, just... later. Okay? " She grins and skips off, I watch her leave.

"Looks like it's just you and me." I said while I looked down at the bottle.

"Did you just talk to the bottle?" I look over. I was Eli and my face went hot. Oh no.

Eli stood there leaning against the doorframe from what looked like the entrance to the backyard. He is wearing dark skinny jeans and a T-shirt with a shark on it and a leather jacket on top. Eli had an amused look on his face and everything about him in his leaning position is attractive right now. His hair was slightly messy and he had a beer can in his hand, probably much easier to open than my bottle.

"No, I'm…" I sigh lamely. "I guess I did."

He chuckles and makes his way over to me, I wasn't moving from my spot. "What are you doing here?" He asks taking a swig from his beer can.

"Uh…" I look down at my feet. "My friend dragged me here."

"Ah." He starts. "The one that ran off?"

I nod. "You already knew that though, didn't you?"

"I had a clue, but you confirmed it." He smirks and I fall a bit harder.

"You don't have to drink that you know." He taps the bottle in my hand with the can in his hand.

A sense of relief went over me and I put it back in the bucket under the ice. Alli was right, having a drink might help me relax. I am driving her home and myself, I have to be responsible for the both of us. Even if I didn't have to drive I'm not sure I would have ended up drinking what Alli told me to. I'm not one for underage drinking, this party, or dragging Alli out later on.

It's not that we went out to parties every Friday night, just every now and again. I really only go to keep an eye out on Alli. Most days I'm working or at home watching one of the Harry potter movies, or doing homework. I usually don't spend all my time after school getting ready in jeans that are a little too tight and a blouse that makes my breasts fall out a little too much. I don't spend hours on my makeup or my hair. And I do not spend all my time being someplace trying to cover myself up from pigs of older guys staring at my chest. Something Eli wasn't doing.

"You really didn't seem like the type anyway."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask sharply.

He puts his hands up in surrender. "You just don't seem like the type to break the rules. It must be the pink." He touches my shirt for a second before moving his hand away.

"I can be rebellious."

He let out a noise from the back of his throat. "Yeah?" He holds out his can out to me. "Then show me." He said casually.

I breathe out loudly through my nose and take the can from him. I glance at him and see how amused he is once again and I see the slight shock on his face too. I brought the can to my lips and took a long sip of it and swallowed what I had my mouth. It tasted awful, bitter. And I made a disgusted face passing the can back to him. "That was horrible!"

He laughs. "I knew you weren't the type."

I roll my eyes after recovering for the aftertaste "Whatever, Eli."

"You know my name?"

"Jake told me."

His lips move into an 'o' shape and he nods. "Good to know."

A loud crash went through the house and then loud cheering and I didn't even want to know. Every second I stood in this house, things only seem to get worse. There's more drunk people by the minute, more gross pop music remixes play and until now I knew I didn't like parties but now I really hate them.

"Do you want to go up to my room?"

"You live here?"

"Unfortunately." He sets his only half empty beer can down on the table in the room we were in "So? " He pushes the question.

"Uh.." I find Alli in the crowd of people in the other room and see her grinding with some guy and I turn back to Eli and nod my head quickly. "Yes, yeah... Anywhere is better than here."

He takes my hand and I realize just how nervous I am, and it had nothing to do with the party. He was holding my hand, fingers interlocked and I think I'm dreaming. The butterflies appeared in the pit of my stomach and I swear I felt sparks. I couldn't tell if it was his hand or mine but our hands are a sweaty mess and I don't care.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors note: I'm sorry school got busy, I was drowning in it all for awhile. I also lost a few important people in life due to cancer recently, so that would be another reason I haven't been able to update. Also I'm sorry if the after is kinda boring right now, it will get better. But anyway review and enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, Clare would not have broken up with Eli over voicemail, like ew.

Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.

Can't Help Falling In Love

After

"Clare." He finally says.

I don't say anything. What am I supposed to say to him? He doesn't know about Kayden. He doesn't even know that Kayden would be his. I never imagined this moment because I didn't think it would ever actually ever happen. He left, I thought he was never coming back. I never thought I would ever see him take another step in this store or back into my life so suddenly. I had gotten use to him being gone.

Kayden pulled on my hair again, bring me out of thought. "Let go Kayden." I tell him firmly. His bottom lips quivers like he would burst out wailing, but nothing came. He didn't even let out a whining noise, I was surprised.

I looked back at Eli and he looked at me, our eyes met and then I grew angry. "Buy something or get out." I spat at him. He looked taken aback.

I don't want him here and I don't want to see him or deal with him, hear him, or anything else. He left without saying a single word and then reappears like he's apart of some magic show that I didn't want watch. It's annoying and the clock seemed to have started moving slowly.

"What, no hi Eli, how are you?"

"I don't care much for how you are." I said picking Kayden off the counter and onto my hip. He usually hides his head when there's someone around him he doesn't know, someone he isn't comfortable near, or someone scares him. But he was looking curiously at Eli, like he was observing him.

I've shown Kayden pictures of Eli and I that I have tucked away. I've told him that the man in the photos is his daddy and that he would love him very much if he were around. Maybe in his baby mind he is making the connection from picture to real person. Then he looked up at me and pointed.

I kissed the top of Kaydens head and put him down on the floor. It was almost one, Jake would be here for his shift soon and Kayden had his toys all over the floor behind the counter.

"I'm not here to buy anything." Eli moves closer to the counter.

"Then leave."

He shook his head and sighed. "I came here to see how you were… You never replied to any of my letters…"

I looked Eli up and down. What letters was he talking about? I never got any letters from him, not one. Is he lying to try to make himself look better? I didn't know and I decided I really didn't care to know either, so I pretended I didn't hear anything about letters. "Who told you where I was?" I asked quite quickly.

"I went to your house... Jake told me you would be here."

"Great." I said making a mental note to yell at Jake later tonight. "I'm wonderful, Eli." I rubbed my forehead. "Well you know how I am, so if you'll excuse me…"

"Clare, can we talk?" He said interrupting me. "We obviously have things we need to talk about."

"We don't."

"Why are you acting like this?" He rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed.

"Acting like what?" I say crossing my arms over my chest.

"So cold towards me." I roll my eyes this time.

"You can't just show up and think after three god damn years that I'm willing to talk to you!" I almost shouted at him. Almost though, I had to remind myself Kayden was in the same room as us.

Then the door ringed and Jake took a stepped in, took one look at us and turned to walk out. "Jacob Martin." I say loudly. "Get back in here right now or so help me God I will kick your ass back at home." Eli snorts from in front of me and I glare at the boy.

"Do I have to?" He says sticking his head in the doorway. It wasn't one yet, but I wasn't staying in this building anymore.

"Yeah. You do. " I answered him and start cleaning up Kaydens things. I open his bag and start stuffing things into it. Kayden picks up a block and walks over and sets it nicely in the bag. Despite Eli showing up so randomly, the little things Kayden do always make me smile. He had the looks of his father, the good behavior of myself and brains of both his parents.

"Come on, Edwards." He begs opening the part in the counter that lifted to get out. "Please." He goes to step in.

"Don't." I warn.

He backed off.

I stand from crouching down to put the toys away and put the bag on my shoulder, purse on the other, put Kayden on my hip and I grabbed the keys from mom's car out of my pocket. I can't wait until mine is finally fixed and out of the shop.

Jake walks behind the counter as I try to walk out from behind it. I let out a frustrated noise out from the back of my throat. "You're an idiot. " I tell him and push past him.

"Mama, ma…ma! Da, dada." Kayden gripped my shirt collar. He definitely made the connection in his head. I push open the door and I know Eli is following me. I keep walking though and don't turn around once.

"Clare…" he called my name. "Clare… Clare, stop!" He grabbed my elbow making me stop.

"What do you want?" I question.

"We don't have to talk, or see each other ever again…. Just…" He paused and Kayden reached out to him, Eli smiled at him and I feel something. "Just… Cece told me about... Kayden, I didn't believe her… And I should have, he's mine isn't he?" He touches Kaydens chubby cheek with his thumb and I feel something again but turn away from him.

I continue walking to moms car and unlocked it. I glance over my shoulder and notice a limping in his walking I scrunch my eyebrows to together in confusion and turn back to the car and open the trunk.

"Clare…" He says again.

I sigh. "He looks like you, doesn't he?"

"I guess so… Yeah."

"There's your answer." I say slamming the trunk shut. I open the back door and start putting Kayden in his car seat. I do him up in his seat and shut the door. " He's your son." I say clearly so he doesn't have any questions. "His name is Kayden Lucas Goldsworthy. His birthday is December first and if that's all you want to know I've got somewhere to be." I finish as I walk over to the driver's side.

He nods as I get in and drive out of the parking lot.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors note: Hi! So a reader requested this story be more issue driven and it is. Yes in the story they fall in love again, I mean it says it in the summary, but this story will have lots of issues, I've got it all planned out don't any of you worry. Anyway, I'm home sick, so I thought, "what the hell, lets write out another chapter." So I did and now you get a new chapter. Also in Canada (or at least the part I live in) secondary school is like saying high school okay? Okay. **S****hout out to my lovely cousin who is now editing for me.** Enjoy it, it's a good one. Remember to review! It always makes me smile.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, Dave and Wesley and all those other characters that disappeared would still be around.

Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.

Can't Help Falling In Love

Before

I take seat on the edge of his bed and take everything in. The bed is dark, and strewn across it there is an abundance of black blankets, covers and pillows cases. All is black aside from one pillow which sports gruesome looking skulls. The curtains, floor and walls are all dark too. I'm beginning to think he's allergic to bright happy colours. It makes me feel out of place in this room, wearing this pink top and all; the shoes don't help much either. There are band posters all over the walls, bands my dad would have listened to and new ones I know and ones I've never heard of. There are papers atop his wooden desk and the bookcase is full, so full it seems that he must have run out of space and resorted to placing his remaining books infront of it. And other than a few items of clothing on the floor it was clean, about as clean as my room. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this.

I grow more anxious the longer I sit there and when I look over at him and his gaze meets mine I feel those butterflies dance around in my stomache) I look down at my hands. I can feel his stare and it makes me nervous. A good kind of nervous that I haven't felt since grade nine when I had my fling thing with a boy, but I was too nervous to kiss him so he left me.

"You live here… So you must be in college… or something?"

"Or something." He laughs and I glance over. I give him a questioning look and he only laughs more. Maybe he has had more to drink than I thought.

"I don't see what's so funny." I say sharply crossing my arms over my chest.

He shakes his head. "Nothing, never mind." He comes over and sits down on the bed next to me. I watch as he does so. "Yeah, I go to the school near by. U of T." He finally answers me. "First year."

"Right…" I say. It's not that I don't believe him because I do. I didn't mean for it to come across that way. I'm still feeling unnerved just being in his room. I've never been in a guys room before unless I count Jake's room, but I really don't. Eli doesn't seem to be too fazed by my response. He looks to be in some sort of deep thought and I don't want to disturb him.

The music is loud and as were all of the voices but other than that it is peaceful in his room, less anxiety filled and more comfortable, but not too comfortable. I can still feel my heart pounding in my chest as he gazes at me. "Favourite colour?" He asks suddenly. For looking so in thought it's a pretty lame question but I still have to think about my answer.

"…Orange, not the colour orange, orange…. But kinda like a very faded orange." I reply. It's easier in here when we are talking about something than when we are sitting in silence and my mind starts to wander. "What's yours?"

He smirks. "Blue, definitely blue." He lays back on his bed. "But not blue, blue… more like the colour of your eyes." I can feel the heat go to my cheeks, I cast my eyes away from him and hide my face by looking in the opposite direction. Not only are his words making me blush but the skin that showed when he lay down. He has that V line Alli always says every guy should have and I've always shook my head at her when she'd say that. But I was beginning to understand why she found it so appealing, Seeing that may have gotten me a bit hot. It's only slightly hairy there but not to the point where it would be disgusting. I'm wondering what he might look like without a shirt when he starts speaking again.

"Where do you go to school?" He asks.

"What is this? Some stupid question game?" I reply with a question.

"Yes…"

I finally look his way again avoiding the small amount of skin he is showing. "Unless you'd rather be making out." He says casually shrugging his shoulders.

My jaw drops slightly and I blush harder. "Sorry…. But I don't makeout with strangers"

"Then answer my questions and we won't be strangers." He says leaning up on one elbow.

"I don't even know your last name." I mumble, picking at a lose thread on my jeans.

"It's Goldsworthy."

"Eli Goldsworthy." I say testing out the name. I see in the corner of my eye that he's smirking a bit.

"It's actually Elijah, but don't tell anybody that."

"Like the guy in the bible?"

"No… More like my great grandfather."

"Oh" I say. After a second he says. "You never answered my question."

"…. Degrassi."

"Secondary school?"

"Grade eleven." I tell him.

"That could work." I hear him say but just barely. He said it quietly and that would only mean it wasn't for my ears to hear but knowing that didn't make me blush any less and I wonder for the second time how much he had to drink. There was no way he could be saying things like that to me, he would have to be completely drunk or crazy.

I've never had a boyfriend, never had my first kiss and never been in a boys bedroom. A boy has never even liked me enough to try to be with me. Maybe when I was eight and cute but not now. So it was hard to even sit in here with Eli. All of this is foreign to me. And it's kinda exciting but mostly terrifying in the best way possible.

I have my mouth open just slightly, but I don't say anything. I could ask him what he said to make sure my ears weren't playing tricks on me and that he indeed said what I thought he said. I could ask him another question, because I had many but I didn't. He looked at me and I looked back and we both said nothing.

"You have pretty eyes." He said sitting back up. Our faces are close but I don't move. I freeze.

"T-thanks." I stutter.

He looks into my eyes and I looked into his. I could get lost in his eyes. I could look for hours if I could and I would memorize each speck and colour in them that made them his. He raises his hand and touches my hair wrapping a finger around one of my curls and plays with it. I shiver and he smiles softly. Maybe I'm dreaming and I'm going to wake up and be very disappointed.

"It's your turn to ask a question." He says and moves away. I almost whine at him for moving away from me.

I let out a shaky breath. I'm completely embarrassed that I actually thought for a second that something was going to happen. I move away from him a bit and I know he notices. He is looking right at me and if I didn't have a huge crush on him, I'd probably find it extremely creepy. I look around his room again unitl my eyes come across the bookcase once again.

"Um… If all the books were going to be burned tomorrow and you could only save one, which would it be?"

"You want me to pick one?" He says pointing at himself when he said the word me. "That's an impossible question to answer."

I giggle.

"If I had to pick one though… I think I would pick… Fight club."

I nod. "That's a good one." I agree.

"You've read it?" He says a hint of shock in his voice.

"Yes." I roll my eyes. "What? Do I not seem like the type to read that either?"

He looks down shyly "No, I didn't say that."

"But you thought it."

"I didn't!"

"I bet you did. I mean you're quick to assume things."

"Shut up." He glares playfully.

"Make me." I shoot back.

His lips are on mine in an instant and I freeze for the second time tonight. It's not that I don't want to kiss because I absolutely do. I want to kiss him very much, but I wasn't expecting this. He pulls away then and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry… Uh, I shouldn't have done that." He gets up and I feel horrible. I made him think I didn't want to kiss him when really it was the opposite thing. Maybe he's drunk and will regret kissing me in the morning... but I was silly thinking that. Eli wasn't slurring his words, he had been speaking clearly and completely coherent. He was walking straight and he wasn't clumsy. He didn't smell of alcohol. Then again I've only ever had to deal with Alli being drunk so I shouldn't compare them.

I touch my lips, it still feels like he has his own lips pressed against them, when really he was up and pacing the floor. "That was my first kiss."

He stops pacing and glances over at me. "What?"

I stand up, feeling a hint of confidence for the first time in forever. He is shaken up about kissing me, I feel horrible for not responding to his kiss. I've only known him for a short amount of time but I don't like seeing him ware a hole in his floor. I've never kissed anyone before and I have no idea what I'm doing.

So I crash my lips to his. The music seems to fade away this time as we kiss each other with the same amount of effort. I feel electricity run through my body. He cups my cheek with one hand and pulls me close with the other and I tangle my fingers in his dark locks. It is a sloppy mess with tongue and and it makes me dizzy with euphoria.

I pull away from his lips but neither of us move. "And that was my second kiss."


	6. Chapter 6

Authors note: It's an after chapter, and I only got like three reviews for the last after chapter, so I'm sure some of you don't enjoy these ones as much. I promise it will get better though. All right, anyway. Shout out to my lovely cousin for editing this crap fanfiction. Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, Eli would have been in the same grade as Clare so none of this cheating, long distance, breaking up stuff would happen

Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.

Can't Help Falling In Love

After

"Up! Up!" Kayden chants over and over again. I guess it's his way of telling me he wants to swing higher. I continued to push him but I don't comply with his pleading. I don't think it is very safe. Kayden can go hours on this thing if let him, but my arm gets tired and I hate seeing the look of disappointment on his little face when I have to stop.

"Mama!" he whines when I don't push him any higher, I keep at what I feel to be an acceptable height and he doesn't like that very much at all. I sigh, a long sigh of frustration as he starts throwing a fit in the baby swing, It's the worst thing when he does, especially in public. They are ten times more stressful than regular fits.

"Kayden, come on." I pick him up under his underarms and lift him out of the swing. He always seems heavier when he's upset, though it's possible I'm just imagining things. He starts crying in my arms and I feel absolutely horrible. I hate when he cries, it makes me feel like a horrible mother, but everyone I know claims I'm the best mother around my age. I usually tell them that they're crazy when they say such things.

"We'll get ice cream! Only if you stop." I tell him, though it doesn't seem to have an affect. "You can get chocolate flavor, baby." He starts to settle down, just like his father in that way, I swear. I set him down on the grass instead of putting him in his stroller. It is hot outside and when it's hot like this the stroller gets all sticky and gross. He doesn't like it so I don't make him sit in it while it's like that.

I hold his hand as we walk over to the bench where our stuff is sitting and I gather it all. Kayden reaches into the bottom of the stroller and grabs his Binky before putting it in to his mouth. Taking his hand again I start pushing the stroller as we walk. I should have decided to drive here. I thought it would be nice enough to walk to the park today, but it's boiling out.

Kayden walks beside me, jumping every now and again, he points at birds and tries to pick up rocks as we walked. I laugh lightly at my boy. As we near the cross walk I lean down and picked him up and hold him on my hip.

It used to bother me when people stared. It isn't as bad now as it was back when I had been pregnant with him. Now I don't have a huge pumpkin under my shirt with my belly button poking out. And I'm not in high school any longer. I have a hyper, adventurous toddler on my hands and most people just think I'm babysitting until they hear him call my mommy.

But people staring isn't something I worry about much any more. I just brush them off much like the way I have to now as an older woman beside me with a pregnant belly looks at us. I move Kayden to my other hip as he chatters in my ear. I can't understand his words talking most of the time, but today I understand without a problem.

"Dada." He keeps saying. I sigh and watch the sign, hoping for it to change soon it would change soon. I would think with his baby brain, he would have forgotten about Eli when we saw him last week. Or maybe he just remembers from the photos of Eli and I that I've showed him.

Then he points. He points at everything he thinks is exciting, and I pay no attention, thinking that perhaps he had spotted a bird or something interesting. It's not until he yanks on my hair that I see the sign above change, and the very thing that had caught Kayden's interest. I don't move.

Eli is sitting there on a bench on the other side of the road. People push past me but I still don't move, not right away. What if he sees us? What if he already has seen us? The ice cream shop is right there and I promised Kayden. I let out a breath then start walking across the street. He holds a book in his hands and he stares down reading it. Why would he be reading on a bust street like this? Then he looks up as I walked by. Our eyes meet for a second but I avert my eyes quickly.

I'm sure if Kayden weren't chanting dada loudly we would have been able to sneak past him no problem. I walk into the ice cream shop and escape the busy street. I put Kayden down and he runs over to the counter. He holds onto the countertop having to stand on his tip toes to touch it. He still can't see over it, and probably won't be able to for a long while still. And although he isn't very tall or big, he could eat a truck full of ice cream if I'd let him.

"Hi!" A girl says happily. "What can I get you today?"

I smile at her softly and look at the prices on the board behind her head. "Can I one scoop of chocolate in a bowl and… a banana milkshake please.?

"Sure, Ms." She says and starts to get the order.

Kayden walks away from the counter and tries to get up on a chair, he doesn't get very far with the task.

"Mama! Help." He says.

"Here you go, Ms." The red-haired girl says catching my attention.

"Thank you." I say taking the two items. "One second, let me get him on the chair."

She nods.

I set the two things on the round table and get Kayden on the chair. I make sure he's sitting on his bottom completely and securely before giving him his ice cream. I turn to go back to the counter, but I freeze as I see Eli standing there passing the girl some money.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"I'm paying for the ice cream, we all got." He answers showing me the ice cream he bought for himself. Cotton candy, his favourite. That never changed.

"I can pay for my own stuff." I spit at him and I see the girl behind the counter make a face and disappear to the back.

"I was just being nice."

I roll my eyes and go to sit back down with Kayden, who has already made a mess on his face with the ice cream. I wish he liked to use spoons.

"A thanks would be nice, you know." I hear Eli say.

"Thanks." I say quickly without looking up. I hear him make an annoyed noise and then the chair beside me moves and he sits down. I facepalm. He sits there, I sit there and Kayden sits there eating sloppily.

I sip on my shake and in the corner of my eye, I see Eli looking at me. "What?" I question while the straw is still in my mouth.

"Nothing, nothing."

Then I look at him with an expression that says I know you're lying, you shit. "Really?" I say. "If it wasn't anything you would have left already."

"I want to see him, Clare." He finally says. And I almost spit my drink out at him, almost.

"No." I tell him and stand up before he could say anything.

There was no way I am going to let Eli actually see Kayden, no way. He isn't fit to be a father, he doesn't deserve to be in Kayden life. Kayden doesn't need his father, he is fine without him. I am fine without him, there's no way, not a chance I will let Eli see Kayden.

I take the ice cream from Kayden since he was only playing in it now and throw it out. He lets out a wail when I went to get something to clean him off with. I don't want the bees after him, especially since he's allergic, just like his father. I hurry to get something, anything. I grab some paper towel from the counter and turn around to go back. I stop when I see that Kayden is no longer crying. Eli has him in his arms and is walking around the table with him, making him laugh. I smile. Then I shake me head, as if I were trying to erase the image like an etch a sketch, I don't want or need him in Kaydens life.

"Give him to me." I demand.

He obeys and passes him to me. I start to clean off Kaydens hands and face. When I'm done I throw away the paper towel and put Kayden in his stroller.

"Clare…"

"No, Eli." I know where this is going and I don't want to deal with it, or him.

"Why not!" He says getting upset now.

"You left! Elijah!" I almost shout. Then I rub my forehead and put my shake in the cup holder in the top of the stroller. "You left and I don't know if you're going to do that again, he doesn't deserve it" I say. "Nether do I." I walk past him to the door and press the button and the door opens by itself. Kayden finds this interesting, I can tell by the noise he makes.

Eli grabs my elbow once we're outside. "I didn't know." He starts. "I had no idea you were pregnant. You didn't tell me. No one told me."

"You left me before I could. You were the one who decided to leave and not tell anyone where or why you left."

"I sent you letters! He interrupts me.

"You didn't even have the decency to break up with me." I stop and shake my head. "I hate you." I yank my elbow out of his hold and start walking back home.


	7. Chapter 7

Authors note: Well I'm at my trailer this weekend, so I'l be able to write a bunch more and since I have internet for three seconds you get an update. Anyway.,Shout out to my lovely cousin for editing this crap fanfiction. Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, We'd be seeing Hunter Hollingsworth a lot more

Summary: This is the story of two teenagers falling in love not once, but for the second time.

Can't Help Falling In Love

Before

I have never felt more horrible in my life. My head pounds greatly and I do not want to open my eyes. My room is dark so that makes things a bit better. I'm thirsty and feel quite nauseated, I hurt everywhere, the spot between my legs is sore. I gasp and sit up quickly. What had happened last night? I rub the sleep out of my eyes and keep them shut, I just want to go back to sleep.

I hear snoring, and not loud, annoying snoring like Glen's is. His snoring is so loud I can usually hear it from my room and my room is the furthest away from than his and my mom's. The snoring is coming from beside me.

Now not only my head is pounding but my heart feels as though it might burst from my chest and panic engulfs me. I don't open my eyes, it's just Alli, it has to be Alli, when Alli gets drunk she snores slightly. But I know I'm silly to think such a thing.

So I open my eyes and gasp louder than I intended to. I cover my mouth with my hands. It wasn't Alli, though I have never wished it were her lying beside me more in my entire life. It's Eli lying there, his soft snoring muffled slightly by his pillow and I can see that he is shirtless, the clothes from last nights forgotten adventure left on he floor of his room and my lip starts to quiver. I pull the covers around me, becoming much more aware of the nakedness of my body.

It feels insanely hard to breath, my head is spinning with questions and pain and before I know it, I feel salty tears running down my cheeks. I hold the blanket tightly around my body and don't fully realize how loudly I am sobbing until I hear Eli waking beside me.

"W...what happened last night." I cry before he can even understand what is going on.

"What?" He asks rubbing his eyes, waking up. He looks at me finally and his eyes widen.

"What happened?! I remember kissing you, having a drink and now I wake up in your bed."

"Shit." He cursed. "Shit, shit, shit!" He continues swearing and begins looking around his room for something. I can't figure out what he's looking for. He gets up and I cast my eyes in the opposite direction when I see his bare naked body in front of me, though I could not deny the beauty of his butt. He moves quickly around the room, throwing things about. He finally throws my clothes at me and I can still hear him cursing some more under his breath. He picks up a black pair of boxers and pulls them on.

I wipe my eyes and redress quickly as Eli sits down on the bed, back to me. He has his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands. I stand up and jump a bit to get my skinny jeans back on.

"Are you on birth control?" He asks quickly, panicked.

My eyes widen and no more tears fall out. "No." I say. "I have a purity ring, I made a vow to stay pure until…m-marriage… Oh my God…" I run my fingers through my hair. "You think we had sex?"

"Yeah, and I don't see a condom anywhere."

He can't even look at me. I feel sick to my stomach. The thing I've kept most important to me is gone now and the person who took it won't even look me in the eyes. I look down at my hand that holds the ring and feel the tears coming again. I slip the ring off and hold it.

"Well, here." I manage to say through my sobs. I throw the ring at his back and run out of his room.

"Clare! Clare, wait." Eli calls after me, I hear his foot steps behind me, but I don't stop, I slam the front door loudly and keep walking until I can no longer hear him calling my name any more and I get into moms car.

I sit at a round table at the back of The Dot a few hours after leaving Eli's place. I haven't been home yet, so I probably look like a mess and my headache has only seemed to get worse from all the crying. I don't even want to look in a mirror.

The door rings above as I watched Alli walk in quickly to escape the cold January air. I don't bother waving or calling her over. When she spots me she hurries over. "I got your SOS, what's up?" She says taking a seat. "Gahh!" She gasps suddenly "What happened to you?"

She probably saw the mess of my hair, the make up all over my face from last night and the same clothes she last saw me in. "You haven't been home have you?"

I shake my head no and feel the tears again stinging the corners of my eyes. I take a shaky breath and wipe my face, not caring how much I just made the mess of my face worse. Alli moves her chair closer to me and holds her hand over mine that shake slightly on the table. "You have to tell me what happened… and you kinda owe me, your mom called wanting her car back I covered for you."

"I had sex last night." I say slowly. It feels weird to say those words out loud. Alli looks shocked but she doesn't speak, maybe she can sense I wasn't finished yet.

"With someone I barely even know, but have the biggest crush on." I stop. I don't speak any more and my lip quiveres. I want to cry until There is nothing left. I want to curl up into a ball and not speak to anyone for a while, but I have to tell someone, talk to someone about what happened. That's why I'm telling Alli. I could never go to my mother over something like this. She's super catholic and would ground me for committing major sins last night. She'd ground me and be mad at me forever but no matter whom I am telling all of this to didn't make me want to speak anymore.

Alli opened her mouth and offered me a smile, a sad smile that didn't make me feel any better. I shook my head and almost started sobbing again, but I didn't, there are people in here. An older couples and that's about it, it's too early on a Saturday morning for kids my age to be up yet. I'm stuck between spitting it out and keeping it in to myself.

"Clare… I think you…"

"It was unprotected, Alli, I'm scared." I interrupt her and her facial expression changes completely. It basically goes from something that says Alright-we-can-deal to oh-shit.

"This changes things." Is all she says for a minute or so.

I remember back when Alli and I were in grade nine, she was on her third boyfriend and had had sex for the first time. All she had to say about it was how horrible it was. I remember saying to her "maybe you should have waited, the right guy would have made it lovely." And I wished she had something to say along those lines for me, but she remembers her first time and I only remember my first kiss.

"I think you should tell your mom." Alli said.

"No way!"

"You could be pregnant, Clare."

"It doesn't happen that fast." I tell her.

"if you were ovulating then, yeah, it can." She tells me. "And if not pregnant, unprotected sex could mean a STI."

"Eli would have told me…"

"Would you even remember if he did? I mean you were pretty shit faced at that party."

I cover my face with my hands. "How would you know? What do you remember I don't?"

"I was sober all night, when I saw you drinking… with that guy…Eli? Or whatever, I was going to be the responsible one. But when I was ready to leave I couldn't find you. I texted you a few times, you didn't answer so I thought you would have went home. I left and it was clear to me you hadn't when your mom called my phone." She lets out a breath and takes my hands from my face, holding the one that no longer held the ring.

"Where'd this go?" She asked touching the ring finger that had no ring on it.

"Uh… I threw it at him this morning." I tell her regretting the decision I had made.

She lets go of my hand and pushes her lips together, making a face. "If you don't want to tell Helen, at least talk to Eli… and make an appointment to get everything checked out, okay?"

I nod and I refuse to tell her I'm torn between wanting to see Eli again and never wanting to see him again in my entire life.

I can't look my mother in the eye. She has no idea what happened last night but she has such judging eyes I feel like she already knows. Or maybe I still look how I feel; horrible. and she can tell something is up. I look down at my food and move around a pea on my plate from one side to the other. I'm not hungry and I just wanted to be alone instead of listening to Glen, mom and Jake talk about whatever. Alli is right though, I'll have to tell my mother. I will eventually.

"Clare Diana Edwards, you're sixteen years old, stop playing with your food." Mom says.  
I glance up and set my food down. "Oh.. uh, I think I'm done." I say and stand up, pushing my chair out.

"You didn't even finish your pork chop."

"I'm not really hungry, mom, I think I'm going to just go to bed." I pick up my plate.

"Are you feeling alright, honey? You're not yourself tonight.'

I fake yawned. "Just tired." I put my plate in the sink and go back to get my cup. I finished the last sip or two of grape juice and place the it in the sink with my plate.

"All right… Well yell down if you need anything." She says sounding unsure, she most likely senses that I am lying. I hurry up the stairs.

I shut the door and slide down it. I stay there on the floor, and hold my hands over my face and just sit for awhile. I sigh. I cannot just sit here and be upset over what happened. I could but it wouldn't be worth it, just a big waste of time. I'd rather be sleeping than being upset. I'd rather be doing anything other then sitting here. I grip the doorknob and stand back up to my feet and make my way over to my bed sitting down and pulling my socks off.

I take my bra off without taking off my shirt and my phone goes off on the nightstand. A text message probably from Alli so I don't hurry to get it. I put my bra next my socks and put on a movie, climbing back into bed and grabbing my phone. I press play and the movie starts as I enter my password.

I nearly drop my phone seeing who the message is from.

_Hey, it's Eli._ The message reads.

_Hi_ I reply _How did you get my number?  
_  
_I'm not too sure about that one. It was in my contacts. _He sent back in about thirty seconds or so.

I smile to myself staring down at the screen. He texts in proper grammar, he has to be the only person I know who doesn't use those stupid short forms instead of typing out the entire word. It's refreshing.

_Oh_ I text back. Still stuck between wanting to talk to him and not wanting to.

_So… about last night.  
_  
_What about it?_

_Can we talk? You left pretty quickly and I'd rather you not hate me._

I gulp. He wants to talk, I need to talk to him about it but the idea of having to talk about things makes me nervous. It has to be done though, I have questions and he has the answers.

_I don't hate you.  
_  
I don't hate him, the opposite quite possibly. I was drunk, he was drunk and we both remember just about as much as each other does about last night. I know one thing though, and that is that I'm never drinking again.

_Then can we talk? _

I sigh. _Yes, but I'm not talking about anything over text messages._

_I meant face to face, Clare._

Okay, tomorrow at one? The Dot?

_See you tomorrow. __  
_  
I don't text him back and carefully set my phone on the nightstand I let out a deep breath and lie back on my pillow.


End file.
